No problem! What people (especially women) want is for someone to listen.
Hearing isn't usually too difficult, but really listening can be.
The International Listening Association (www.listen.org), sheds some light on why listening is so hard:
- Most of us are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful about 75% of the time we should be listening.
- We listen at 125-250 words per minute, but think at 1000-3000 words per minute. As hard as it is to listen effectively, it is still vitally important.
- Immediately after we listen to someone, we only recall about 50% of what they said.• Long-term, we only remember 20% of what we hear.
Our lives are so busy, it's no wonder we feel overwhelmed. Many of us (men especially) feel as though if we need to SOLVE problems...and if we can't, well, what good is it to spend alot of time listening?
But the truth is, all of us want to be heard. We want to know that we're not alone in the world.
We want someone to say "I get it" "I understand"...."I've been there!"
So, the next time you feel compelled to "fix" a loved ones problems. Resist the urge and just listen!
Write to me and tell me what's going on in your life. I promise I won't try to solve anything, but will be here to listen.
Susan Parker
Author of Walking in the Deep End
www.walkinginthedeepend.com
